The Buttocks

Voyage to Uranus

Ted botches the lyrics while J.J.Jammer puts in an amazing series of psychedelic solos in this "Dream Beguine" tour de force. Features news soundbytes from the Voyager flyby of Uranus in January 1986.

"I have to tell you again how absolutely f*cking in awe I am when you do stuff like [Voyage to Uranus]. The speeded up Bob Ryan and others plus all the whacked out drug stuff (if only) just make the song that much more awesome." -- Keith Richmond

High Culture

"It is like a barber's chair, that fits all buttocks---the pin buttock, the quatch buttock, the brawn buttock, or any buttock." -- Shakespeare

"Arcadio suffered from shoes that were too large, from his patched pants, from his female buttocks." -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Many people laughed at his dialect and the way he used words strangely. Instead of saying "myself" he always said "my buttocks." [...] "Your buttocks understand our language," said someone light-heartedly and the crowd laughed. -- Chinua Achebe

"Your buttocks said [god] had a son," said the joker. "So he must have a wife and all of them must have buttocks." -- Chinua Achebe

"Gorbachev sings tractors: Turnip! Buttocks!" - Milo Bloom

"Sexualization of the buttocks has occurred throughout history, especially of the female buttocks." -- The Cultural History of the Buttocks (Wikipedia)



Butt Festival '83

By: Buttocks III (Jammer, Beater, Ted)

Recorded: 12/22/83

Released: 12/83

Format: Random; Seemingly Dolby B, but the hiss and the "music" are virtually indistinguishable

Songs: Tribute to Gang Green, Stairway to Heaven, Ode to Penalologists, Tribute to the CCCB, Foxey Lady, Purple Anus, Dazed Anus, (Side 2), Undressed Man, Tribute to WGAY, Whole Lotta Love.

For this recording, Ted used his patented "way too much dynamic range compression" technique. Anytime the band is silent, the noise rushes up to be louder than the band. It's like listening to the ocean crashing on the shore.

Anal Connection

By: Buttocks III (Jammer, Beater, Ted)

Recorded: 2/17/84

Released: 2/84

Format: Random; Sound engineering becoming more "professional" (i.e. you can just barely make out something resembling "music").

Songs: Whole Lotta Love, Purple Anus, Stairway to Heaven, G/D Chord, Tribute to Gang Green, Undressed Man, Jammer plays with his Teeth and Buttocks, Tribute to WGAY, Dazed Anus, (Side 2), Washing Machine, Bar-B-Q, Tribute to Butt Festival, Tribute to Flower Power, Black Dog, Ode to Faces.

Behind the Butt at the Anal Connection

By: Buttocks III (Jammer, Beater, Ted)

Recorded: 2/17/84

Released: 4/84

Format: Extended recording of above, including mistakes, and the lunch break

Key Moment: Ted drops the tape recorder into the engine compartment of J.J.'s car and the sound of the tape and the car being destroyed is tremendous.

Adventure on Uranus (Down with School)

By: Buttocks II (Jammer, Ted)

Recorded: 6/11/84

Released: 6/84

Format: Shows some signs of organization

Songs: Black Sabbath, Washing Machine, Paranoid, Foxey Lady, Tribute to Gang Green, B/E, I Cum On Your Grave, Highway to Hell, (Side 2), Tribute to WGAY, Rainy Night, Tribute to Crashed Davenport, Dazed Anus, Bang your Head, You Really Got Me, Cornucopia, Purple Anus, Power Chord.

Flying Feces on the Fourth

By: Buttocks II (Jammer, Ted)

Recorded: 7/5/84

Released: 7/84

Re-Released: 11/84

Format: First release was a 12 record set, and the public disliked the cost, so Ted reduced it to fit on one LP, and re-released

Songs: I Cum On Your Grave, N.I.B., B/E, Iron Man, Paranoid, Ode to Penalologists, G/D Chord, Engine Sounds, (Side 2), Tribute to the Feedback 4, Ode to Startovox, Notional Anthem, Willow Hill, Fifth (Tribute to Beethoven), Breakdance Fifth, Tribute to WGAY, Scratch, Tribute to Gang Green.

Listening notes: This was the Buttocks' first live outdoor concert and there was nothing protecting us from exposure to the sun. Considering that the show lasted over 9 hours, it was really quite grueling. Having red hair, JJ was particularly sensitive to the sun. See if you can hear the moment when JJ's skin ignites.

Red Rectum

By: Buttocks II (Jammer, Ted); Buttocks IV (Jammer, Bath Key, Frizzbrain, Ted)

Recorded: 8/15/84

Released: 8/84

Format: Unexplainable

Songs: (B2) Paranoid, Washing Machine, (B4) Tribute to Gang Green, Washing Machine, Possession I, I Cum On Your Grave, Tribute to Feedback 4, Stairway to Heaven.

Listening notes: Bryan [Frizzbrain], who was an accomplished jazz and session drummer, would express his disappointment with what was going on during the session by shifting into unprovoked, violent drum solos. See if you can hear his dissatisfaction come to a head during Stairway.

Fall on Uranus

By: Buttocks II (Jammer, Ted)

Recorded: 11/6/84

Released: 11/84

Format: Much more like an album

Songs: Fall on Uranus, Washing Machine, I Cum On Your Grave, Tribute to Indian, Narrow Escape, Tribute to Gang Green, (Side 2), Revenge of the Cow People, Fall on Your Face, Tribute to the Stones, B/E, Insanity II, Fall on Uranus.

Orbiting Uranus

By: Buttocks II (Jammer, Ted)

Recorded: 12/7/84

Released: 12/84

Format: True Album, including many great new chart-topping hits

Songs: Washing Machine, Infected By You, Tribute to Indian, Possession Chronicle, Fall on Uranus, Polyester Face, Satan's Head, (Side 2), B/E, Tribute to Boarder Patrol, Dazed Earthquake, Whale Attack, ?, ?.

Butt Festival '84

By: Buttocks III (Jammer, Beater, Ted)

Recorded: 12/23/84

Released: 12/84

Format: Random

Songs: Voyage to Uranus, B/E, Jammers Medley, Washing Machine, Fall on Uranus, Guitar Madness.

Key Moment: Ted's "brilliant" idea of plugging two guitars into one distortion pedal for "Guitar Madness" results in a completely fried distortion pedal.

Best of the Buttocks

By: The Buttocks

Recorded: From all albums

Released: Not Yet

Format: 2 Record set, Record 1 is comedy cuts from the first two albums, Record 2 is the "Best of" album.

Songs: Purple Anus, Possession Chronicle, Voyage to Uranus, Whale Attack, more...

Noteworthy: Ted introduces the expression, "Accidents do happen with the Buttocks" which becomes a catch-phrase for the J.J.Jammers.

Butt Session '85

By: Buttocks II (Jammer, Ted)

Recorded: 4/21/85

Format: Album

Songs: Washing Machine, Fall on Uranus, Jack's Bolero (Medley), J.J.'s Bolero, Border Patrol, Indian Part I, Indian Part II, Voyage to Uranus, Narrow Escape, CSA; Blank Tape, Tribute to Owls, Region's Revenge, Death Waltz, Death of Slowgun, Satan's Head, Naked at Nine, B/E.

Jamming Up Uranus

By: Buttocks II (Jammer, Ted); Buttocks III (Jammer, Ted, Piece)

Recorded: 6/3/85

Released: 6/85

Format: EP

Songs: Washing Machine, Voyage to Uranus, Washing Machine

Butt Festival '85

By: Buttocks II (Jammer, Ted)

Recorded: 12/22/85

Released: 12/85

Format: Album

Songs: Indian, Purple Haze, Washing Machine, Gang Green, Fall on Uranus, Buttocks Medley (Gang Green, Ode to Penalologists, Washing Machine, Narrow Escape, ICOYG, Possession I, Fall on Uranus, Border Patrol, B/E, Indian), Bass in Space.

News Clippings

In recent weeks, Salaman and other young women who sell hot dogs along Pinellas County roadways have found themselves fighting to keep their businesses alive — and their clothes off.

Salaman and the others wear thong bathing suits that expose most of their backsides to traffic. It's a great way to attract customers, but recently Pinellas County Sheriff Everett S. Rice decided that it also violates laws against peddling food along public roadways with exposed buttocks.

Jeffrey Good, Tampa Bay Times, Apr. 25, 1993

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