Rancid Oatmeal

A band whose work strongly resembles the Ted Team's "Hollow Ween" efforts. Usually labelled "avant-garde". Originally, Ted wanted to call the band "Rancid Food Products", Dave wanted "Oatmeal Slaves", so they compromised.


Touch My Oatmeal and Stick Your Fingers In The Bowl


Dave Seifert - Lead Vocals, Guitar, Percussion
Ted - Backings, Keyboards, Percussion


Mold In My Blastopore

Recorded: 8/11/91
Format: Continuous Sound
Songs: Interview, Introduction, Touch My Oatmeal and Stick Your Fingers In The Bowl, I Can't Stick Two Diskettes In My Drive, Mayor Of Mastication, "Me and You, Toto Too", Forced Rejection, Answering Machines.


Mold in my Blastopore
Dave Seifert

Throwing pretzels to the wind, I carelessly leapt to my feet and screamed, "Cunnilingus!!" Fairly soon, a cow appeared and declaimed that sirens can only be heard on Mars. Leading, of course, to the ostensibly stentorian consternation of the masses huddled on the face of this planet, yearning to breathe free.

Foreplay sometimes causes mold to form in the blastopore. In effect, windswept wrecks of vintage World War II fighter craft serve as a catharsis for the repressed emotions of Pee-Wee Herman. I often find myself weeping unconscionably in my bed at night, afraid to admit to myself that when I was but a youngster, warthogs chased after me, threw me to the ground, and licked the sugar from my ever-more-rapidly swelling digits.

Rain sometimes makes one think on the nature of sweat, its modalities as well as its intrinsic structure. Your tangential babbling is driving me very near the brink of extinction. Such study is valuable not only for the unpleasant necessity of confronting the jingoistic drives and needs of a morally bankrupt society, but also because at times it is important to let children know that, even though they wet the bed, you still love them.

Tiny rivulets of blood crept down the side of his head, now and then coming in torrents as his heart made its last few futile attempts to sustain itself.

Member of the Ted Chain
Copyright ©2007, The Ted Chain